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AYA Contact: Information on the AYA and its programs is available at www.aya.yale.edu or by writing to Rose Alumni House; Box 209010; New Haven, CT 06520-9010. This space is made available to the Association of Yale Alumni by the Yale Alumni Magazine.
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News From the Alumni House October
2001 I was admitted to Yale when I was 16 and graduated early at a mere 19 years old. Sounds impressive, but last month, I took my husband and 12-year-old daughter to my 25th reunion. The notion of seeing old friends was exciting; I haven't stayed in touch with most of my classmates. But how would I measure up?
At our first day's breakfast, I saw no one I knew, so we shared a table with two charming people, neither of whom had been in my residential college. Scott was a paleobiologist working for the Smithsonian in Washington, D.C., and Dorothea was a history of art professor teaching at Princeton University. Not that I'm overly competitive (being an overachiever is essentially an admissions requirement at Yale), but it only got worse from there. We spent the morning touring the campus, then found our way to Old Campus for lunch. Tim and his lovely wife sat down with us. I had typed Tim's papers to earn money; Tim had taught me to play soccer, and I had started the Yale women's varsity soccer team. On one occasion, Tim had gone so far as to call me from the Bahamas to dictate his senior paper over the telephone. He had worked for Coca-Cola for years, but was now a headhunter in Southern California. Then Gary tapped me on the shoulder. Gary had been a basketball dream when I was in school; although he turned me down when I asked him out, he assured me now that we had dated later. Gary had gone on to law school, only to become "a producer" in Los Angeles. He had met my brother-in-law, Kevin Sorbo (of Hercules fame), when Kevin guest-starred on the TV show Dharma and Greg. Colin had not signed up for the reunion, but he crashed the party later on. I ran into him leaning against a pillar, garbed in his legendary trench coat. Colin had not changed a whit. But he was now a famous radio talk show personality. And columnist. And author. He discussed with us potential titles for a book he had just completed about his father, which prompted Alexis (who had just turned in her last sixth-grade assignment, a book of poetry) to instantly compose a poem (on a napkin), "Dads." She presented it to Colin, and he put it in his jacket pocket, next to his heart. Doug Wick was in attendance at dinner. Doug had just won the Academy Award for producing Gladiator. Upon this announcement, several of his friends used his head as a backboard for their dinner rolls. Visions of Animal House danced in my head. The next afternoon, with Alexis exhausted and napping, my husband and I went for a walk. By then, I was feeling overawed by the accomplishments of my classmates, but my husband reminded me that I had been presented the President's Award by the Federal Bar Association (its highest honor). Still, that did not help my mood. We found a restaurant and stopped to have a glass of wine, and there I pulled out the attendee list and the business cards I had been accumulating to make notes on who had become what, where my classmates were living, and who was married to whom. In blue and gold letters on simple white cardstock, Gary's card proclaimed:
Wordless, my face in my hands, I could not decide whether to laugh or to cry. There will always be people to admire for their achievements, and when we come back to reunions, the temptation to ask, "What have I done with my life so far? Is it enough in comparison to others?" is unavoidable. These questions can also occasion especially difficult moments, even for overachievers. When
I complained, after the reunion was over, about feeling puny, my
friend Gary e-mailed back this answer: "I don't believe our
accomplishments since leaving Yale are nearly as important as trying
to have a positive impact on the people who surround you in life.
Look how you have enriched the life of your family and helped clients
who are truly in need of someone taking on their cause!" Perhaps
this article should be titled "Everyone Wants To Be Someone
I Know," because I'm fortunate to know so many wonderful, and
wonderfully accomplished people. I hope you feel the same way!
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Yale
Alumni Magazine, PO Box 1905, New Haven, CT 06509-1905. USA.
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